Erickson Tribune

Spirituality Today

UPDATED: Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Connecting through memory journals

Posted on Sunday, October 01, 2006
 

By Jeff Watson
THE ERICKSON TRIBUNE

I remember playing in my buddy’s backyard a thousand times. His backyard descended into a knotty forest with an endless creek. That’s where we shot our BB guns, pitched canvas tents, and played with his beagle.

One thing bothered Eddie: his grandmother sitting at the window. “I wish she wouldn’t stare at us,” he grinned one day.

I shrugged my shoulders. For me, she was part of our scenery and we were part of hers.

Now that I am a grandfather, Eddie’s grandmother makes more sense to me. When it comes to our grandchildren and great-grandchildren, we are their connection to the past; they are our connection to the future.

Arthur Kornhaber, an intergenerational expert, once told me: “I can’t prove it, but I have a theory; I believe there is a powerful, positive, biological reaction in the brain whenever a grandparent or great-grandparent looks at their grandoffspring.” If he’s right, then maybe Eddie’s grandmother was just taking care of herself— without so much as an aspirin!

The Need to Connect
If the late Harvard psychologist, Erik Erikson, could join our roundtable, he might teach us again about our ongoing growth during adulthood—how we all yearn for intimacy (versus isolation), generativity (versus stagnation), and integrity (versus despair). We all want to connect; we want our lives to count and to have meaning in the end.

At the soul level, remembering is deeply spiritual. Didn’t God remind us of this, by giving the world a prophet named Zechariah—whose very name means, “The Lord remembers”? Don’t the Jewish and Christian scriptures cue us that God has a Book of Remembrance and a Book of Life?


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In the modern world, how can we write in our book of life? It might be easier than we think! With the help of personal computers or fill-in-the-blank memory journals, thousands of adults are now compiling their life stories for the next generation. LifeBio (www.lifebio.com/ or 1-866-543-3246) was conceived after Beth Sanders interviewed her own grandmother and discovered a treasure of memories. Through storytelling, Grandma became a little girl tasting JelloTM for the first time, then a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse, then a mom surprised by the gift of twins!

Now, LifeBio customers create digital histories by answering interesting questions and uploading key pictures. Sanders’ organization even offers to print the bio as a hardback book. What a great gift idea for the next family gathering!

‘Chocolate for the Brain’
Quoting Gene Cohen, an expert on creativity and aging, Beth reminds us that, “Autobiography for older adults is like chocolate for the brain.” Sounds like a win-win to me, benefiting both the storyteller and those who come behind.

With adults living longer than ever, it makes sense to stop and remember and tell. Moses even challenges us: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

A hundred years ago, when children turned ten, it was highly unlikely that they could invite three or four grandparents to their birthday party. Today, it is four times more likely that they will have three or four grandparents alive to enjoy the candles and the smiles. Yet, we are more likely to live in a geographic diaspora. Despite the long distances, we can still connect through the written word.

Have you started putting together your life story? Please share your experiences on the Spirituality Today forum at EricksonTribune.com. When you get to the website, just click on Forums on the left-hand side.