Erickson Tribune - Marriage and family values > Forums

08/21/2007 5:07 PM	Alert
Re the Tuesday Aug. 21 issue on changing attitudes on marriage and parenthood. I would agree with Dr. David Popenoe that the trend toward satisfying individual needs over partnership and community is a dangerous road. Although my husband and I married in middle life and did not have children, our 26 years were good ones because we saw ourselves as sharing in each other's persons. Also, before our marriage we soberly considered practical matters such as running his business and how each would contribute. Marry for love and the regret lasts the rest of your life! There are three keys - shared values, agreement on finances, and a good sex life. Trying the shoe before you buy is not the way; co-habitation is a slipknot that one can ease out of; when spouses commit themselves they are more likely to stick it out even without the children. Divorce is expensive - just on that consideration alone. However, the good old days were not that good; communities had a small-town mentality, even in the big city. Friends of ours who divorced were asked not to come back to church. Children born out of wedlock were ostracized by their peers and teachers, and the young unmarried woman with a baby could be fired from her job. We owe the rise in abortions as much as to "selfish-ness" as to society's burden on the woman, rather than the man. Marian Shaw

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