charliehogge@tx.rr.com (guest)
 |
| 11/04/2006 9:58 PM |
 Quote
 Reply
 Alert
|
| The subject of these reflections: An Attitude of Gratitude. I wrote them on my Italian hospital experience on May 6, the day after arriving home.
I do not believe it is exaggerating to say that I am presently enjoying a state of intense gratitude and joyful bliss (in spite of feeling tired and still a little weak). God has been incredibly kind to me - as manifested through the prayers and kindness that I received in so many ways during my ten day hospitalization and since returning home. Joan and I arrived home yesterday - mid afternoon, after our four week trip to Italy. Originally, we were due back on April 28, but on April 24 - the evening of our arrival in Venice - I suffered severe internal abdominal bleeding and was hospitalized for 10 days. I feel very fortunate that I received excellent care - once I got the doctor's full attention quite early the morning of April 27. Ended up with a transfusion of four units of blood.
Once I became strong enough to sit up, I enjoyed reading Beyond Reason -Using Emotions as You Negotiate, by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro - that my good friend Bob Ingram gave me a few weeks before our trip. It is an easy but most illuminating read. Surprisingly, a lot of it applied to my hospital experience. They discuss five core concerns: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status, and Role. While their main focus is in applying their insights to negotiation, we are in an almost constant state of negotiation with ourselves or someone else - whether we realize it or not.
While in the hospital, I enjoyed practicing my newly acquired, most limited, halting, but most useful bit of the language and made friends with several wonderful room mates. When I entered my room in the surgical ward, I greeted the two room mates with Mi chiamo Charlie. When they responded with their names, I followed with Piacere (It's a pleasure to meet you.) That broke the ice. The 71 year old man in the bed next to mine remembered my name and introduced me to Roberto when he became our third roommate. I was on an IV and was hoping to avoid having to have a blood transfusion. When my hemoglobin dropped from 14 to 8.6, the nurse entered with two units of blood. Even though the doctor had ensured me that their blood supply was thoroughly screened and quite safe, I was still quite terrified and began to sob silently but uncontrollably. The roommate who remembered my name came over and gently placed a hand on each side of my face and spoke earnestly and kindly in Italiano. He seemed to be invoking Theresa. I asked if he was speaking of faith, of religion - entirely in Inglese. I said that I am not Catholic, I am Protestant, Methodist - but .. and made the sign of the Cross. He smiled and said, "Ok." I became resigned to the situation and at peace. He then came close again and asked, "Ok?" I replied, "Ok!" We both smiled and held up the Ok sign. The next day as he was being discharged, I asked a nurse, who spoke enough English that they understood my request, to convey my deep appreciation. I regret that I did not remember his name.
His bed was then taken by “Eddie.” One of Eddie’s two daughters spoke to me in very good English. The day after we met, she asked if she could get me anything from the hospital commissary. I asked for a bottle of water since the hospital did not provide drinking water. She brought a tall bottle of the popular brand of mineral water and refused payment. She said that she had been so well treated a few years back when in Seattle that she just wanted to repay the kindness in any way she could. Before Roberto was transferred to a different wing, he gave me a CD of gondolier music as a souvenir.
Another remarkable thing happened the evening before and the morning of my discharge. My newest roommate, Silvano, arrived. As he entered the room, looking a bit unsure that he wanted to be in a room with three strangers, I used my icebreaker Italiano. He responded warmly and began speaking near perfect English. We became instant friends. He offered the use of his cell phone to call Joan so I didn't have to bother the nursing staff and tie up their phone. I wanted to take the water ambulance to the hotel at the other side of town, but had no cash. (We made the mistake of spending too many of our Euros early during the trip and were stuck with two Master cards but no way to get cash. In southern Italy, the bank was willing to accept the card for cash withdrawal without a PIN, but not in Venice.) When Silvano learned of my needs, he opened his wallet and pulled out 150 Euro. He gave me his home address and said I can send him a cashier's check when it's convenient! After we got settled back at the hotel and had had dinner, he called to check on how I was doing. Such care from an almost total stranger!
Before leaving, I praised the medical staff in front of their director and wrote a thank you note to the ward medical staff - thanking them for their excellent care (squisito) and their many kindnesses. They posted it on the bulletin board for all shifts to see. The doctor who removed the insert tube from my neck thanked me for it. As I walked the hall saying, "Parto oggi! Pronto." - "I'm leaving today! I am ready." the nurses gave me the warmest smiles. I also wrote thank you notes to my three room mates. In two cases, we exchanged mailing addresses.
I am thankful and proud of how well Joan held up under the strain of not knowing the outcome, nor when we would be able to return, yet was available for my needs. She continued to enjoy as much of Venice as she could while walking to and from visiting me. (We are so glad we paid for travel insurance since all of our expenses were covered from April 28 through May 5 - including Joan's hotel bill and meals and my medical expenses!)
When we got home, we had voice mail from a couple in Florida, a ninety-one year old couple in California, and an e-mail from a couple in Alaska - all friends we met on the tour. Also voice and e-mail from some in our church. I am so deeply touched.
A post script: I recently received the anxiety removing news that my proactive HIV test came back negative!!! All the more reason for feeling so blest. I am so thankful for the Italian donors of those four units of blood. (My hospital roommates joked that I might begin singing like a gondolier!)
Charlie Hogge(Interested non-resident, Plano, Tx)
|
|
|
|